The Democratic Alliance of Koalas
The Democratic Alliance of Koalas (also known as DAK), is a not a new addition to the bear military. It has been around since the late 1970's and is responsible for the election of the last 2 Democratic presidents, as well as Nancy Pelosi. Other main goals of DAK are to ensure the spreading of the bat population, production of Zombie Bears, and the destruction of the Colbert Nation. They are the one of the most radical groups in the "Hate America Firsters". History DAK was founded by the Colbear in 1978 as a preemptive measure against the Colbert Nation. Their original purpose was to remove president Jimmy Carter from office (Apparently, he wasn't killing enough puppies for the Democrats). They were unsuccessful in this attempt, however. Things looked bleak for DAK. Luckily for them, it was soon realized by the Bear Military that although their attempts at assassinating Carter had failed horribly, their plans were amazing (by bear standards, which are of course, lower than ours by 17%). But there was still one problem - until then DAK was comprised solely of Koalas, which while aggressive, lacked the physical strength required to carry out their very intricate plans. So, in 1983 DAK began accepting all types of Bears into the fold. It was still headed completely by the Koala, but now had had the brute strength needed to become one of the most feared Alliances in history. They continued promoting bear propaganda and leading the Chicago Bears to victory until Oct. 17th 2005. At that time they were reassigned to combat the Colbert Nation, and head the Weapons division of the Bear Military. Contributions DAK has made many contributions to the bear agenda including (but not limited to): Election of Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton to office, the Ego Waffle, and "Bearlistic Missiles". But perhaps their greatest achievement was the creation of the Zombie Bear. In mid-2006 there was a shortage of ablebodied bears to deploy in Iraq to aid the terrorists, and this would not do. The Colbear sent word to DAK to find a way to increase the ranks in a fast efficient way. After weeks of failed attempts at making Mechanical bears (the evil clogged up the joints) they had a revolutionary Idea - bring dead bears back to life using modern science (Also known as witchcraft). After only 2 days of "sciencing" they had their first specimens. They were prefect killing machines. The only foreseeable flaw was that due to the fact it was dead, it could not reproduce. This was fixed by teaching them Voodoo, allowing them to resurrect any fallen bear they come upon into one of their own. The Future of DAK Since its inception, DAK has become one of the top five deadliest Alliances in the world. It is rumored they are currently working on a special type of camouflage known as "Bearouflage". There is no reason to believe that this organization wont continue to grow and expand in its evil ways unless stopped by the Colbert Nation.